Can’t blame a guy for making use of available resources.

“You think you’re gonna live another, 60, 70, 80 years? Well, I tell you what. My BELLY is gonna outlive the lot of you! Just look at this thing. Jesus, just check out the hair and the roundness and how it moves to the music. How can something this beautiful ever die? I’ll tell you, buddy. IT CAN’T.”

Maybe we’ll go off together, start a family of half-human, half-steel-rail kids. THEY WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL! Strong, but with good dance moves like me. Hey, YOU SHUT UP! You don’t even understand!

Leave me be. Leave me and my new wife alone. We’ve got some welding to do.

Listen, James, if it was up to me, I’d hop on a plane myself and get it done, but I can’t.

You’re going to have to do it. I’m entrusting you, James, with this mission.

Now, I know that they’re your friends and that you like to hang out, but I need you to be a professional here. I need you to stand next to them at the Kenny Chesney show and as soon as they start wiggling and flailing and moving their upper limbs like goddamned used car lot inflatable wind puppets you need to show them.

Do it quickly. Do it well. Show them how to dance at a concert because if you don’t, the brass are going to have my ass on a pike outside the Pentagon and you, me and this whole operation will have failed.

Make me proud, James. School those sloppy shimmy dorks how to really dance. Just stand next to them and blow their fucking minds with that magic you’ve got in those well-oiled joints of yours.

Do it for me, but more importantly, James, do it for your country.

…that he has the most beautiful dance?

This week, we’re posting fresh new dance videos from the weekend’s Austin City Limits Festival. If you have any we should add from this year’s Fest, just drop us an e-mail and let us know where to find it. For now, enjoy this shirtless man-boy dancing his ass off to Girl Talk.

As proprietors of a website that features videos people being filmed dancing at concerts, you’d think we were into the mockery aspect foremost, but tell us honestly: who’s more annoying in the video above? The two guys rocking out and having a great time or the peanut gallery behind the camera offering smug commentary on what they’re filming?

Don’t be jealous just because some people know how to have a great time and you don’t. It’s just unbecoming.

The danger of having too much room to dance at a concert is that then you feel you have to use that space. The disastrous results of that kind of thinking are clear in this video.

It’s kind of nice when they do the work for us.

“ELLEN! ELLEN! Get my white humpin’ shorts! We’re goin’ out!”