Hey, y’all. I know you to get up close and be near the band and stuff, but, there’s lots of room back over here! By the trashcans!

Really, it doesn’t even smell or anything. Why don’t some of y’all come back here. There’s no smoke or sweaty people. Just me, dancing around. I won’t even bother you. I’ll just do some of my sweet moves and you can watch or jump in or not. You know, whatever. It’s cool.

Come on back, all right?

Please?

At about 0:42, this woman proves exactly how hardcore she is.

All right, this doesn’t really take place at a soccer World Cup (it’s actually the 2007 Cricket World Cup), but the sentiment is one we’d point out even if it were: that when you blend different nationalities (in this case Ireland and Pakistan), you sometimes get some drunken douchebag mocking the rival culture.

But here’s where it’s hopeful, you can see for just a second or two where the guy actually really gets into it, actually appreciates and honors the dance he was just moments before mocking.

That lasts a second or two and then he goes back to being an obnoxious turd. Ah well. Maybe next year we’ll have world peace.

As the video evidence suggests, it doesn’t work as a mating dance, it turns out.

For anyone who’s ever dreamed of being on stage and showing the world what’s inside your soul…

For anyone who’s ever been stuck in a dead-end job and wished for one shining moment of grace in front of a large crowd of people…

For anyone who has ridiculous dance moves and has no problem performing them in public…

For anyone who ever wished they could be hated and admired by thousands of people at once…

… it’s too late. This guy beat you to it.

In honor of the end of Lost, we present this bit of island dancing. It’s probably a DJ playing and not a live band, but who cares? It’s on Bora Bora and Spider-Man is dancing with two girls! We’ll take that over a drunk shirtless guy at a Cheap Trick concert any day.

They come in all shapes and sizes, apparently. That rotating spotlight makes it extra sexy, no?

We’re willing to guess fewer people dance at an actual Proclaimers concert than do in this video of a cover band called Fubar.

Just a guess.

The sound is like a trainwreck having sex with a cemetery, but we can’t get over the choice to film this otherwise negligible concert dancing video in black and white.

It makes it almost… artsy? French, even? Or Bergmanesque Swedish?

In our mind’s sequel to this video, Death appears and says, “There is nothingness. And there is shitty dancing. Between the two, I would choose the shitty dancing.”

So, we do.

He’s far too oxygenated. He’s giddy! He’s having an outpouring of emotion! Somebody cut him off! CUT THE LINE! NOW!

Oh, God, I can’t watch.