It’s a guy with a yellow hat, you’re looking for, not a guy with a yellow visor. This is just a guy taking air instrumentation to new highs/lows. Please move on, monkey.

Dear Diary,

Today, I danced out by the Port-a-Potties at the Black Eyed Peas concert. Some girls walked by. One of them got close to me. I wanted to talk to her, but instead I danced.

And then I danced. And then I danced some more. I grooved and I popped and I put a drink on my head to keep me cool and I blew some minds, I think. I really think I got through to some people.

It was a good day.

Yellow Hat Man

And the prophesy did say that one day, a man would come who rolled upon his back while air-guitaring, stood on his mighty feet and stomped like a goose, then bobbed his head with a woman of his choosing like some drunken, magnificent chicken.

Did we cheer when this prophesy, in the year two thousand and ten, did come true.

We did cheer.

For the first time, we bring you STEREO PEOPLE DANCING AT CONCERTS VISION! A dance so powerful, so important, so mindblowing that you will see it from two different perspectives!

One woman. Multiple hops. Two videos. Two legs and arms. One massive beat (made up of a lot of individual beats). One music break and A Capella breakdown. At least six shimmies. Three WOOs!

You cannot count the value we are bringing to you with mere numbers! You have to feel this. Uh… dawg?

You are welcome, Internet!

We don’t watch the show, but we’re pretty sure this dance was included in its entirety on an episode of Treme last season.

Hey, what’s up Towel Guy? I’ve seen you around and I just wanted to say I really dig how you, uh… Hello? Towel Guy? Can you hear me?

Oh, I get it. You’re grooving out. Probably don’t want people coming up and talking to you and — oh, snap! — I’m doing it right now. My bad, Towel Guy. I’m sorry. You keep, ah… toweling and dancing there and…

Shit. Can that guy even hear me? Hey, Towel Guy, if you can hear me, stop dancing.

Dude’s still dancing. Well, I give up. Later, Towel Guy.

Damn, not even a “Bye!” Or a friendly nod?

You know what? FUCK YOU, TOWEL GUY. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING TOWEL! I HATE YOU! YOUR TOWEL IS STUPID! It probably stinks and is all wet and mildewy!

All right, listen, Towel Guy. We both said some things we didn’t mean. Mostly me, I know. It’s cool. I just dig your moves is all. Was hoping I could hang, but I see now that you are a one-man-one-towel wrecking crew. And I respect the crap out of that.

So let’s just part ways. Bye, Towel Man.

I kind of love you.

Hey, y’all. I know you to get up close and be near the band and stuff, but, there’s lots of room back over here! By the trashcans!

Really, it doesn’t even smell or anything. Why don’t some of y’all come back here. There’s no smoke or sweaty people. Just me, dancing around. I won’t even bother you. I’ll just do some of my sweet moves and you can watch or jump in or not. You know, whatever. It’s cool.

Come on back, all right?

Please?

At about 0:42, this woman proves exactly how hardcore she is.

All right, this doesn’t really take place at a soccer World Cup (it’s actually the 2007 Cricket World Cup), but the sentiment is one we’d point out even if it were: that when you blend different nationalities (in this case Ireland and Pakistan), you sometimes get some drunken douchebag mocking the rival culture.

But here’s where it’s hopeful, you can see for just a second or two where the guy actually really gets into it, actually appreciates and honors the dance he was just moments before mocking.

That lasts a second or two and then he goes back to being an obnoxious turd. Ah well. Maybe next year we’ll have world peace.

As the video evidence suggests, it doesn’t work as a mating dance, it turns out.