We want it like this guy’s got it. Two or three times. We will have what he is having! Breakfast, lunch and dinner! [Did we belabor this a bit? We have have belabored...]

You might think this dance is awful, even unwatchable, perhaps an affront to all that we hold dear as humans with rhythm. You might even be right. But if you look at is a dance of humility in praise of all that lawn furniture has done for us, then it sort of works. Just barely.

The only way this could be more jammy is if they were wearing pajamas-jammies and eating jam.

It’s not intentional that we keep posting videos of people dancing at Lady Gaga concerts, but apparently that’s the only concert people seem to be going to and where they all dance. At least this one has a painful-looking face-first floor flop. Enjoy that! It’s at around 0:32.

Yes, that’s really Rush Limbaugh dancing to Lady Gaga’s Poker Face at the Miss America Pageant. We just wish we could see his p-p-p-porker face in a close-up.

This guy’s in it for the long haul. The long, painful, embarrassing full-length haul.

If a patch of grass survives it when you do a dance like this on it, the grass will love you with all its grass heart and you will be grassmates forever and ever.

FACT: The Great Pumpkin is an amazing concert dancer.

There are far too many human foibles in this concert video to break down in this short space, but let us just say that if someone ever invites us to a Phish concert, we’ll be torn between the instinct to document the sociology there and the urge to run to the hills, screaming, “NOOOO!” The hills will probably win out.

You’ve heard of being “Hopped up on goofballs,” right? This guy is hopped up on himself. BECAUSE HE IS A GOOFBALL!