Dear Diary,

Today, I danced out by the Port-a-Potties at the Black Eyed Peas concert. Some girls walked by. One of them got close to me. I wanted to talk to her, but instead I danced.

And then I danced. And then I danced some more. I grooved and I popped and I put a drink on my head to keep me cool and I blew some minds, I think. I really think I got through to some people.

It was a good day.

Yellow Hat Man

For the first time, we bring you STEREO PEOPLE DANCING AT CONCERTS VISION! A dance so powerful, so important, so mindblowing that you will see it from two different perspectives!

One woman. Multiple hops. Two videos. Two legs and arms. One massive beat (made up of a lot of individual beats). One music break and A Capella breakdown. At least six shimmies. Three WOOs!

You cannot count the value we are bringing to you with mere numbers! You have to feel this. Uh… dawg?

You are welcome, Internet!

You are either on board or you must exit to the side right now.

ON OR OFF!?! DECIDE!

Sometimes a musical group will put out its own videos of fans dancing at its own concerts. Sometimes those videos have a lot of people sitting in chairs watching. Such is the case with the band BluzBenders, which as you can see, is rocking parts of Missouri.

You! Teens who are so young and full of life and not yet beaten down by the weight of the world!

Look upon these two. Do not laugh. Do not mock. Do not cruelly film it on your cell phone and put it on YouTube.

Because once you are 35, this is the coolest you will possibly be. This is it. The ceiling. You will be lucky to be this cool when you are 35.

Now spend the next 20 or so years haunted by that thought.

Shut up, Fosse. I GOT THIS.

At about 0:42, this woman proves exactly how hardcore she is.

We’re not sure what to make of this Drake guy, honestly, but apparently he has the power to cause near-riots at a free concert. Look, if your concert should turn into a riot, there’s no reason why you can’t dance. Hell, some of the best dancing happens under adverse circumstances and the more you’re dancing and swinging your arms, *the less chance you’ll be some defenseless schmoe getting smacked in the face because you were just standing there getting crushed.

* Assumption not confirmed or verified. Use with caution.

As the video evidence suggests, it doesn’t work as a mating dance, it turns out.

Is crowd surfing really a kind of dancing? Dance experts have been debating this for tens of thousands of years, but unfortunately the ones who began the conversation are now all dead and the ones who currently serve probably aren’t even aware that these conversations existed. Keeping a written record is not a dance expert’s strong suit. (What IS a strong suit? A reinforced leotard.) Anyhoo, crowd surfing, we can all agree, is definitely not dancing when it’s done this badly.