This may be a prank, a Jackass-ready bit of public performance with Spike Jonze or some other relative youngster dressed up in old-age makeup trying to make everyone around uncomfortable with such youthful limber moves. But what if it’s not? What if this really is some old coot with incredible hips that never age, a kind of eternal, perpetual hip movement machine engineered by scientists with a little help from Nordic gods? What THEN!? What, indeed. We don’t have an answer for that, either.

“We were all like, ‘Who’s that kid with the racing stripes on his jacket’ and the kid started moving and his moves said, ‘THAT’S who the kid with the racing stripes on his jacket is.’

“None of us could argue with that, so we just watched and hooted and praised his name, which we did not know.”

– Stunned onlooker who declined to give his name

Come for the Katy Perry. Stay for the gyrating robot man.

“You think you’re gonna live another, 60, 70, 80 years? Well, I tell you what. My BELLY is gonna outlive the lot of you! Just look at this thing. Jesus, just check out the hair and the roundness and how it moves to the music. How can something this beautiful ever die? I’ll tell you, buddy. IT CAN’T.”

Shakira asks, “Do you remember the Lambada dance?”

DO WE!?!

When he danced, this Man of Squeal, someone yelled out, “What’s your Kryptonite?”

As he grabbed his crotch and thrusted, he yelled back, “When someone turns off the music!”

We’ve always wanted to see Monsters of Concert Dance, but now that we’ve seen it, we are too awed to go on and on about it.

While you were texting and nodding your head at the band, this man was p0wning your unwrinkled ASS.

You didn’t even know it.

This is what happens when well-cooked noodles take on human form.

Starting at about 0:28, we begin to see the way the universe was created out of chaos, not with a gigantic explosion, but with a modest little bit of popping.