Dear Diary,

Today, I danced out by the Port-a-Potties at the Black Eyed Peas concert. Some girls walked by. One of them got close to me. I wanted to talk to her, but instead I danced.

And then I danced. And then I danced some more. I grooved and I popped and I put a drink on my head to keep me cool and I blew some minds, I think. I really think I got through to some people.

It was a good day.

Yellow Hat Man

…you’d better have a good dance to back that shit up. Luckily, these guys do.

You are either on board or you must exit to the side right now.

ON OR OFF!?! DECIDE!

Hey, y’all. I know you to get up close and be near the band and stuff, but, there’s lots of room back over here! By the trashcans!

Really, it doesn’t even smell or anything. Why don’t some of y’all come back here. There’s no smoke or sweaty people. Just me, dancing around. I won’t even bother you. I’ll just do some of my sweet moves and you can watch or jump in or not. You know, whatever. It’s cool.

Come on back, all right?

Please?

Shut up, Fosse. I GOT THIS.

… but, OK, you win. Your dad IS pretty awesome.

This one won’t seem like much unless you skip ahead or stick with it until about 2:21 when the true glory of this video becomes evident.

You have to be patient with these things sometimes.

We’re not sure because of the way this video flips from sideways to right-side-up, but we think this dude is being eaten alive by his own oversized orange shirt. Should we help him, maybe?

What is WRONG with y’all? Am I the only one who brought my dancin’ shoes and my good dancin’ fist and my spirit and THE LORD here? Because I don’t see any of y’all dancing, and I thought we came here to have a good time. Sheryl! I see you up front. Girl, why aren’t you dancin’?! Did you drive all the way out here just to sit on your little heinie. Because that’s not the plan that’s gonna get your emotions in motions, are y’all FEELING ME!?

OK, look, that’s all right. Y’all OBVIOUSLY aren’t feeling it like I’m feeling it, and that’s a shame and all, but don’t think for a second y’all can stop ME from getting up and shaking my arm and showing off my new green shirt that I just bought at Penney’s. Don’t y’all think that for A SECOND.

I’m gonna dance. Y’all can just sit around like logs and tap your feet or whatever. I’ll be up here dancing and praising the Lord and being AWESOME.

Can you feel the fan power! Spin, spin! Like the soccer ball!