Come for the Katy Perry. Stay for the gyrating robot man.

Once upon a time, this would have been the prelude to a ritual killing, but today it’s just harmless dance fun! See how good we’ve got it these days?

We’re willing to bet you weren’t rocking this hard when you were a toddler.

Can’t blame a guy for making use of available resources.

“You think you’re gonna live another, 60, 70, 80 years? Well, I tell you what. My BELLY is gonna outlive the lot of you! Just look at this thing. Jesus, just check out the hair and the roundness and how it moves to the music. How can something this beautiful ever die? I’ll tell you, buddy. IT CAN’T.”

Maybe we’ll go off together, start a family of half-human, half-steel-rail kids. THEY WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL! Strong, but with good dance moves like me. Hey, YOU SHUT UP! You don’t even understand!

Leave me be. Leave me and my new wife alone. We’ve got some welding to do.

When you are in the desert, starving and dying of thirst, and someone gives you a canteen of water, you will gulp it down and swear it’s the best water you ever had.

Same goes for entertainment when you’re sitting, bored, waiting for a show to start.

When he danced, this Man of Squeal, someone yelled out, “What’s your Kryptonite?”

As he grabbed his crotch and thrusted, he yelled back, “When someone turns off the music!”

While you were texting and nodding your head at the band, this man was p0wning your unwrinkled ASS.

You didn’t even know it.

Seriously, we don’t care how good you or your band are, you are not going to be the center of attention once this guy gets on stage. You’re basically just the accompaniment. Live with that, Plain White T’s.