We’re not sure because of the way this video flips from sideways to right-side-up, but we think this dude is being eaten alive by his own oversized orange shirt. Should we help him, maybe?

For anyone who’s ever dreamed of being on stage and showing the world what’s inside your soul…

For anyone who’s ever been stuck in a dead-end job and wished for one shining moment of grace in front of a large crowd of people…

For anyone who has ridiculous dance moves and has no problem performing them in public…

For anyone who ever wished they could be hated and admired by thousands of people at once…

… it’s too late. This guy beat you to it.

It’s all well and good to have body moves, but never forget that your face is in the game, too. If your face isn’t dancing along with your body, you’re just a person who’s only dancing from the shoulders down.

Give him space and some air. He really needs to utilize the area out here, to explore its possibilities. I’m sure he’s onto something. Just give him a sec. I’m sure he’s going to do something cool if we just… wait… for — OK, never mind. Pardon the intrusion.

The song is called I’m Still Standing, but can you really call that standing if your face is bent over, your shoulders are doing the Igor position and you’re doing some sort of variation on the Monster Mash? “Yeah, yeah, yeah?” No, no, no.

You can dance at an Iron Maiden concert, you can take your shirt off at an Iron Maiden and you can get drunk at an Iron Maiden concert, but doing all three at once is not something we advise.

Please, please, please let that be an air guitar this guy is twanging. Amen.

This takes place before a Journey concert. Our hero dances in the aisles to entertain, relieving the pre-show boredom and loosening his own joints. You could make fun if you like, but this is much better than any Journey that doesn’t include Steve Perry.

…these guys are having more fun in 30 seconds than you will have all week. Sorry to put it out there like that, but it’s probably true.

Bald, blue chest, mottled rear, darting activity as if seeking prey. Excellent preening. It is a shame he is not a bird, because he would be excellent at it.